Now you should know that I am a worrier. So much so that I’ll stress out, most likely get myself under the weather for no particiular reason. Also when I worry, I tend to shut down. I did that for the past week. I lost track of time to the point where I found myself asking “what happened”. What happened? I always joke about being really late about things, but it was really bad this week. I knew what was going on, but to save me my sanity, I blocked it out. Of course, I couldn’t do it entirely, so it would come back and hard.

I’ve been pretty miserable as of late in terms of health. Who knows why; most likely stress related. But don’t worry, I’ll be all right. So far, part of what I’m worried about is slowly working out. We won’t know until at least another week.

Thanks for your patience.

Yes, that’s right, tonight. As in 8pm Eastern Daylight Time. As in 8pm normal-people-are-getting-ready-for-bed time. Yes, I also said “what the fucking hell?”

The job is an office assistant position in a theatre/studio venue. Basically they help people find spaces for their performances. It’s in the perfect area too–the Theatre District in Manhattan. If you’ve been an avid reader, this is excellent–I’d be exposed and surrounded by theatrics. Yes! I got the message yesterday to come in tonight, so it was an impromptu interview so to speak. I hate those. Today was worse.

I went with my nephew to go job searching since he and my other nephew are going to college in New York in the fall. One got work-study, and the other didn’t. Not sure how that one worked. But anyway, we went to the hospital, and I was going to apply over there as well. First, it took us forever to find HR. My dad gave us a ride over to where it probably was a million years ago, but it left us on a wild goose chase. It took us about 20 minutes just to find it, then when we got there, they just told us to come back next time with our resumes. It’s easier to just fax it over instead of going through all that again, so when we got back home, my nephew faxed his over. I had to get dressed for the moonlit interview.

The slacks weren’t a problem.

It was the fact that I have ample boobage, and button-downs isn’t my friend. I had one shirt which fits, other than the little problem I mentioned. But I was confident that I can bypass it. It just wasn’t working. So on to plan B.

My nephew was using the iron, so I asked him if he can iron another shirt out for me. He did it, but was very careful because the material is easy to burn. All of the sudden, he squirted water all over the shirt. Yeah, yeah, it’s only water. Except it was brown. At this point, I was thanking my lucky stars that the shirt was pink and not white. But still, I had the fear that it would show. Luckily, I found a pair of shoes that weren’t complete torture on my feet…until I was walking home and my ankle started acting up. Wearing heels is something I should not do apparently.

But the interview was very short. I wasn’t in there for more than 5 minutes. He said he’ll be making calls sometime next week. I would love to get that position–the location’s rare! But I’m also desensitized by rejection from jobs now. Discouragement turned “pfft to them!” It’s pretty scary.

But then again, I’m desensitized by other things too. That part goes into my friends-only Livejournal.

1) Now I have problems with my jaw getting bitten up pretty badly. At first, I thought it was my wisdom teeth just snagging onto the inside of my cheek. This happens on the right side only. As a result, I have a really nasty bruise on the right side of my jaw. It gets bitten up at night, especially when I’m stressed about something. I’ve been under a lot of stress, but I rarely talk about it here, or to anyone offline for that matter. So naturally, it’s getting a lot of abuse. Then I wake up and my left side is bitten up. Not to the point of the right side, thank goodness, but there’s a noticeable lump, and it is painful. All stress-related, I’m sure of it. To make matters worse, when I press down on the outside of my jaw on the right, there’s pain. Wonderfuckingful.

2) A lot of muscle pain. My arms, and my legs especially. My right leg is ridiculous. I can barely walk on it. Stretching it out causes pain. So right now, I’m pretty uncomfortable while sitting on my bed, and laying down is no better.

3) For a few weeks now, my right hip would hurt off and on. I don’t know why, since it wasn’t this hip I fucked up when I fell in front of a Mobil snack shop that has a Subway in it. So I don’t have a clue why this one’s fucked up.

I’m also in a lot of emotional pain. Like I said, I have a lot of stress, then something happened last night and made it even worse. I have a cryptic explanation at my friends-only livejournal, but I will say this–woman’s and Piscean intuition is a powerful thing, and should never be underestimated. And I’m pretty much left with sarcasm, a pen, and no chocolate. Wonderfuckingful.

I’m feeling a little better. But this week, I was just downright miserable. I can’t give you a definite reason why, but I just was. Probably hormones. Probably mood disorder-related. Who the hell knows.

In any event, I went out with the Dysfunctional Bunch on Thursday. This was the first time I’m seeing them since I left the program last week. We went to eat, then to see 88 Minutes, a movie that me and the dahling was supposed to see, but had other plans. It was pretty good–had me guessing to the end. Seriously, I was fricken confused until the end. But it was still good. Worth the DVD buy when it comes out. They wanted to see Iron Man, but I am highly opposed to seeing that movie. I guess it’s because it’s not my kind of movie, and also it’s 3 hours long. My attention span wanes after an hour and a half. No matter how good a movie is, if it’s too long, I’m not going to enjoy it. So we agreed to not do that.

But otherwise, nothing much has been going on. Very uneventful since then. I need to look for that short story that I was writing from a writing prompt way back when. I never finished it. That’s my M.O.–start something, and never finish it. You should see how many full-length plays I have yet to finish. Bad, Nat. Bad…