One night I had a dream that I took this thing called Quicktrim. It was in liquid form and it tasted really good. Kinda like a strawberry daiquiri. Maybe it tasted too good; I drank the whole bottle. Then I fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up and I felt somehow different. I just rolled out of bed and went into my bathroom. Something didn’t seem right…I looked…different.

I was skinny.

I was absolutely ecstatic; I was jumping up and down! I ran down the stairs, and into my kitchen. Then I heard the floor crack.

And crack some more.

And crack even more.

And just as it was going to give away I wake up in a cold sweat. But something still didn’t feel right.

My bed broke.