It’s July, but some places are talking about Christmas already. It’s too early; I’m trying to get through the heat before I delve into eternal (or what seems like it) freeze. I’m looking forward to it, yes. But I have an idea to ward off the Late-Folk Wave who only comes to my house to eat and nothing more. Christmas invitations. I give you permission to laugh. It’s really sad that it would come to this, but we have some really selfish people who loves to come over the house and grab all they can eat like it’s a Chinese buffet. With the invitations, only those who have one would be the only ones getting in.

Yes, I am that evil.

So as you can see, with me blogging this right now, you will know that I am back. Yes. I am back. Am I feeling better? No. But then again, I’m not going to feel 100% until maybe the middle of March, so might as well suck it up.

I’m relatively caught up with some of my projects. As you can see, there is a new layout. Of course, I work on my time, so a winter layout comes out after Christmas. It was intended to be out before, but I ended up switching stuff up, stuff wasn’t working, I was losing my hair over it…so yeah, I needed to take it slow. Did I mention that I never fixed the other layouts? Eventually. Yeah. I did some of the hacks for P739, just need to come up with a sales pitch for more members. Good luck to my ass.

I got one thing out of the way that only needs updating as needed. I present to you i.am. i.am is the only one of its kind (these days anyway)–an adjective clique. I’m sure everyone has been asked to describe themselves in _____ words. With i.am, it’s the same premise, except you describe yourself in one word. The slogan is “define.yourself”, which is basically what you’re doing. So far I have 9 members. You don’t need to have a website, but if you do, there is a code to put up which rotates all the websites of the members. Ultimately, you may get some traffic to your site, I get traffic to i.am, and it can grow and grow. I have high hopes for this project. A few people who have joined so far has said that this is an excellent idea. I’m happy to see that I’m not the only one to think so. And to think that this idea comes up when I’m in a depressive episode…hmm…

Other than that, the holidays are winding down. The worst is over–Christmas is done and over with. All we have to worry about now is getting drunk on New Year’s Eve. Which brings me to my question: What are your plans to ring in the New Year? I don’t have any as far as I know. My friend’s party is this Saturday (his birthday is on New Year’s Eve, but I think he’s spending it with his family). I don’t really go anywhere for New Year’s Eve. In fact, I spent the past 4 New Year’s Eves crying. I think it’s just me wanting to actually know how it feels to kiss someone when the clock strikes 12. This year, I just want to know how it feels to kiss anyone since I haven’t had that in four years. Ouch. I’m sure that if I was into the “one night stand” stuff, this wouldn’t be an issue. Eh, should be alive long enough for that dry spell to be over by next year.

But yeah…Christmas is over. And with Christmas comes presents. Here are mine:

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All in all, I’m happy. I have gifts that I didn’t take pictures of, like the bag my cousin got me which goes perfect with my favorite outfit. And I got a couple of gift cards too, so I’m happy.

To explain the title a smidge, it’s referring to this guy. There is a reason why he’s around. There is a reason why I get tongue-tied with him and not with the other guys I’ve liked. There is a reason why that vibe is so strong with him that my creativity in writing exploded. He’s around for something. Maybe he’s around to make me believe…

Whether or not we go beyond friendship, I want to keep him close, because I don’t think I will meet anyone else like him. Believe what? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. He’s my writer. I’m his number one fan. As stalker-ish as that may sound. I wish I can really tell him that though…

I feel sorry for the person who decided to start a diet last night.

Happy Turducken day! I heard on the radio a few days ago that an average Thanksgiving plate of food is between 2,000 and 5,000 calories, which is basically a human’s daily calorie intake, or even worse, twice that amount. I can tell you right now, tonight…all that weight I lost isn’t going to mean a damn thing after I climb Mount Macandcheese.

Now, I know someone’s going to say “don’t you have self control”? Yes, to a degree. I’ve basically given up soda (I went through several cups a day–now I can go days without it), and I don’t crave chocolate as much. But tell me to half the portion of what I usually eat (which isn’t too much to begin with) during Thanksgiving–that deserves a pimp slap. I go for the ham, mac and cheese, stuffing, baked ziti (or lasagna), and the buffalo wings. And cornbread. Mind you, we’re a West Indian family–we cook. Notice that I didn’t say turkey. That’s the last thing I’d go for. Not because I don’t have enough room on my plate. It’s because I don’t care too much for it. The leftovers actually taste better. I go through cheese overkill, yes. But honestly, that’s actually the only time I fuck around with cheese. If I feel for cheese, it’s mostly Swiss cheese. Thanksgiving is also the only time I eat ham. Lasagna (or ziti) is only made twice a year–Thanksgiving and Christmas. So you see, I’m going to hate myself for it, but it will be worth it. And then I can basically feast on ice for breakfast and lunch until Christmas Eve.

When the holidays are over, some people hop on that January special at Bally’s. Then by February, the membership stays there and rot. Here are the groups of people who should boycott the holidays.

Those who say they’re going to work out, but never do. They’re the ones who go for everything on the table, have mountains of food on two-three plates. They gain about 10 pounds in one day. Their reasoning? Well, I’m going to just work it off after the holidays. Come January, nothing. February, nothing. March, nothing–and if they like to drink on St. Patty’s Day, then they’re very fucked. Just before you know it, November’s back around, and that whole work-out shit never happened, unless it’s to the fridge and back.

Those with heart conditions, and stressful families. I’m not trying to be funny here, even though it’s going to seem that way. I heard on the radio that after eating all this food, you’re susceptible to a short-term heart condition. This means that if you eat 5,000 calories at one time, and try to do something remotely physical, you can have a heart attack. Alternatively, if you eat 5,000 calories at one time, and you have that one uncle who comes to the family functions drunk as a motherfucker and starts yelling obscenities and maybe divulging some Jerry Springer-style secrets, you can have a heart attack. Now mix that in with a chronic heart problem…chyeah.

Those who take Alli. Um…yeah. Need I say more?

People prone to “the ‘itis“. A large consumption of food like one on the holidays cause some people to have a case of “the itis”, where after you eat, you just want to sleep. This is a problem because number one, you’re not supposed to go to bed immediately after eating a large meal, and number two, if you do go to bed, what’s going to happen with the mess in the kitchen?

But folks, don’t let this entry throw you off. Eat, drink, and be merry! I’m going to do that. I mean, other than gaining 20 pounds and shooting our cholesterol to 300, there’s not too much harm in doing it only once a year. Have your turducken and eat it too. Peace.

(Rant about Black Friday coming tomorrow maybe)