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I remember when I was younger, I looked forward to waking up at 7am on Christmas Day to open my presents. I got tons of presents; lots of dolls, an Easy Bake Oven one year, and a lot of clothes (but what child, unless they’re underpriveleged, looks forward to getting clothes?). I looked forward to it because this was the time where I got spoiled the most. I rarely got presents on my birthday.

Now, I think it’s lost its magic. I blame it on being an old fart. Now, I do look forward to it sometimes. At the same time however, when you’re at this age, your priorities seem to change. As a child, you’re like “gimme, gimme!”. As you get older, you’d want to give and give, even though you may not even be able to afford it. That is, unless you really are that selfish, then that doesn’t apply to you.

I got my nieces a gift. They’re the only ones who I can buy for this year because the job market has treated me terrible, as it did plenty of people in the US. Like I said, PayU2Blog saved my ass. I’d love to be able to get something for my mother at least, but let’s face it; 8-year-olds are a lot easier to shop for, especially when you know that they love Miley Cyrus and High School Musical. And you know what? It’s a bit unnerving. If I could afford it, I would get everyone something. I guess it’s just my giving nature.

But yeah, I look forward to spending time with my family and the playful banter we have around the house during the holidays, but the magic is fading. I’m getting old. Can someone put a bow on a cane for me?

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Once upon a time, there was a girl named Nat. One day, about three shopping weeks away from Christmas, she was bored. She was so bored that she decided to take pictures. Then she decided that she was going to post the pictures on Crestfallen because she was still bored. At the end of the night, she had the great idea of posting herself singing after telling this story¹. And she lived…ever after. The end.

More pictures over here!

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Holy shit on sticks and trees with dicks¹, this was torture!

Now was it all worth it? Probably not. But I’ve come to the conclusion that when it comes to this site, I’ll never be happy.

But guess what? I did it. I survived. Yay! What took me longer was the redoing, deleting, and adding pages. I’m still not done either. My about me seems a bit unfinished to me. Yes, I know; it’s long already, but there’s something else. I just can’t point it out though. But that writing section of mine…have mercy. I didn’t realize that I had so much material to add! I even purged some things, rearranged pages, and…did other stuff that I can’t even remember.

I threw in a few more features.

I couldn’t think of 7 things this time…*twitch*

But this is a constant struggle, a work in progress. Hell, I completely forgot that my sidebar isn’t showing up for some of the writing pages. Holy fuck. Oh well, at least I got the more important things out of the way, right? M’kay.

So what else has been happening…

1. Turducken Day was great. Family was great, and I scaled Mount Macncheese. Yum-fucking-my!
2. I had a job interview. I sold my soul and applied to Macy’s, went through a grueling group interview (who invented those? They needed to be shot in the tucchis). The opening was in cosmetics. Have ya seen me? I has no experience in cosmetics. Hmph, I guess I’ll have to wait until next year for a job. Great.
3. PayU2Blog is seriously saving my ass this holiday season. I got my nieces a pair of Hannah Montana and High School Musical bed slippers. They won’t mind Miley Cyrus or Zac Efron’s mug on their feet. 8-year-olds.
4. I need a drink, but what else is new?
5. I’d love to cuddle and get a New Year’s kiss this year, but what else is new?

Yep, I think I covered it all. Enjoy it all.

I took a small break to type this up before it flies right out of my head. I need to make room anyway.

For those who live in the US, or every other country that observes Halloween, Thanksgiving (I think Canada’s the only other country that observes it), and Christmas/Hanukkah, have you noticed that for the next three months, we’ll be eating? We just started our first wave last night.

So we have Halloween, which isn’t much of an eating holiday. Granted, you will be eating, but you don’t eat anything of substance. It’s candy. Chocolate, lollipops, my personal favorite (next to chocolates that is), Smarties…anything that’s fun size, bite size, or easy to pop in your mouth is on the menu. If you don’t have any cavities, you’re fitting to have some pretty soon if you eat so many. Of course, I’m not speaking for all people–a lot of people hate candy, or at least the kind that they get from other people. They might somehow get a Butterfinger with a rusty screwdriver embedded in it, as ridiculously slim the chances are.

You then have Thanksgiving, or Turducken day. I’m looking forward to November 20th This is one of the only days where I actually eat the recommended (for thin and athletic people anyway) 2,000 calories. Come on, who can resist turkey, stuffing, and buffalo wings, among others? Like I said last year, Thanksgiving is the bane of all diets. If you were on one on November 1st, and made progress, you’re going to be fucked when you smell the sweet potato or pumpkin pie. If you’re like my family and have a few cheese products on your menu, such as baked mac and cheese and baked ziti–good luck from a fat chick year-round to you, a fat person three months out of the year.

Then there’s Christmas, or Hanukkah for those who celebrate. My best friend happens to be Jewish, so he tells me that they chow down during this holiday as well. Can’t remember if he said it was for the whole 8 days though. Anyway, for some of us, Christmas is basically Thanksgiving with presents to sweeten the pot. The menu is just as large; the family is just as hungry. At least pumpkin pie is out of the mix, but if you’re into that kind of thing, fruitcake has its moments. Dude, what the hell’s in fruitcake anyway? In my family, we’ll eat some rum cake. Main ingredient: rum. But depending on who makes it, it’s not that strong. Or it could be very strong.

Speaking of rum, you sober up just enough to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Okay, not an eating holiday at all. But if you mix in champagne, Kamikaze shots and a terrible rendition of “Auld Lang Syne”, congratulations, you have a typical bar party in New York. They do not allow drunks into Times Square, so at least the ball-drop spectators are spared that much. But seriously, it might take some people days to sober up after that. Imagine someone walking into work on January 5th still stumbling over stuff. Okay, exaggeration there, but not unheard of to be slightly tipsy a day or so after.

So I (kinda) added up all of this. In three months, we would have eaten about 2 pounds of candy, up to 10,000 calories in food alone (may or may not include leftovers), consumed about 62 ounces of alcohol, whether baked or liquid, and have gained about 10 pounds.¹ Happy holidays.

PS: I have 1,734 words down so far for Mirror, Mirror. For those who are a part of this, here’s my page.