All right, let me explain the subject. This blog has absolutely nothing to do with prostitutes, but it’s one of those random lines that I was like “ooh”. So before it flies out of my mind, I documented it. It’s basically a fucked up version of one of Geico’s commercials. Namely the ones with the cavemen in them.

Aanyway. Nothing much has been going on. Same shit, different day basically. I’m a bit stressed, but that’s because I’m taking on too many projects at once, and trying to finish up on the web design classes, which I’m having a hard time doing because the program I need to do the project on (yes, another freaking project–go fricken figure) requires 256MB’s RAM, and I only have half of that on this desktop. It might not even install. I’m going to try it anyway. Unless I’m going to be fucked up the ass with no vaseline. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is not a good feeling.

I know I said that I had a few things to blog about last week, but like I said, it was going to fly right out my brain. Which sucks because now this one is going to be extremely barren and random, and not a lot of people like random. But then again, not a lot of people like long droning blogs talking about what someone ate that morning, noon, and night. People are fickle.

I just remembered something that I was going to blog about last week. I visited a site of a 16-year-old girl who felt extremely uncomfortable in her own skin. The way she described her feelings reminded me of…myself. So I left this for her to read:

You see, society has this mold in which you must fit. In America unfortunately, society’s mold is size 2 (or even smaller), perfect skin, perfect teeth…basically perfect everything. If you do not fit the mold, you’re automatically considered an outcast. You can be the most sweetest person ever, but because you’re a size 16 with a few small imperfections that cannot be fixed at the moment, you’re passed right by. If you’re lucky enough to find a guy who says that you are beautiful, there’s a good chance that they’re just saying it just to get in your pants, and once that happens, they can dump you and ridicule you some more.

See, I’ve been told that I’m pretty and I’m really nice, but I certainly don’t feel that I am pretty. Nice? Sure, but because some people are just that shallow and superficial, they’ll probably pass you by without giving a second look. It’s fucked up, yes. But that’s how society corrupted people.

I’m probably going to elaborate more on this when I write out my essay for Writings on the Wall, but basically it’s like this. I’m fucking sick of seeing these rail-thin models who have their ribs poking out so far that you can have drumsticks and play on them. Why do you think that so many girls these days have eating disorders? Because of the media and the stigma they put on people who are larger. It’s not even about plus sizes either (I’ll get to that shit later). These girls are already at a healthy weight, and then they see these bony ass women on TV and they yearn to be them, so they think that they are fat.

Then let’s talk about the opposite sex. I know that I had a hard time in elementary school because I was larger than the rest of them, but I wasn’t like 300 pounds. There was a guy, short as hell, and about 300 pounds who had the audacity to call me fat. At that time, I didn’t have the kind of tongue that I have now. My release was to go home and cry my eyes out. It wasn’t just him though; my whole class from the 3rd grade on until high school was in on it. Me, I left it alone, but deep inside I felt…unattractive. Kids are cruel. High schoolers can be superficial as well, but at least it’s not as bad as it is when you’re younger. So back to the opposite sex–there are a lot of them who will talk to a girl who wasn’t a size 2, befriend them, but anything else? Nah. It wouldn’t look good to their friends. Imagine seeing your friend with a girl who’s a size 16 on his arm. If you are that superficial, you’d probably say “what the fuck are you doing with her?” That’s a bit disheartening.

In Spain they have basically banned models who have a BMI of below 18. That pretty much knocks out 80% of the models out there now. So maybe the BMI thing is a little extreme, but I see where they’re going with it. They want to show people, especially women and young girls, that you can be beautiful while not being a 000 (yes there is a such thing), 00, 0, or the proverbial 2. Hell, you can be beautiful while being a size 24. I believe the line is “work with what you have”. You have a big ass, work with it. You have big titties, work with it. Even if you have small boobage and booty, you can still work with it. Give society a big flip of the bird.

As for me? I have my own problems, and I’m trying to work them out. Do I feel 100% comfortable in my skin? Hell no. But compare me to what I was say…a few months ago, I’m a helluva lot better than then. I’m working with what I got…at the moment. Fuck society. I have other things going for me that I’m going to let shine through. They might not accept my looks, but they sure as shit will have to respect everything else about me.

*Takes a deep breath* Now, on to other things. I’m still looking for some man…and woman power for Project 739. I’m still trying to work on it, but it’s slowly going on the backburner. I also have a few themes for here that I need to code and shit. Aaand, my writing page hasn’t been touched since August. I’ve been meaning to type something up, and I’m looking at what I wrote, and I’m like…”damn.” It’s rather daunting, but I’ll get over it…eventually.

Hm. I think that’s about it. I can be completely wrong, but I guess I am done right now.