A man was looking into rentals for his vacation. He came across Destin rentals and was intrigued. He put down his payment and was packed to go by the end of the week.

At the airport, he sat next to a woman who seemed nervous about something. Being the guy that he was, the type who may appear nosy, but is truly concerned, he started a conversation with her.

Him: Hi.
Her(nervously): Um…hi.
Him: That is a nice color on you.
Her: Um…thanks.
Him: I’m sorry, I know that you don’t know me, but it looks like something is bothering you.
Her: Well…I’m a little nervous.
Him: Oh, I’m sorry. May I ask why?
Her: Well, I’m supposed to be meeting someone. We’ve been talking for a while, and he seems like a nice guy, but I don’t know…what if he isn’t what he says he is?
Him: Ah. I understand what you mean. I’m supposed to be meeting someone too. I told her that I was going to be on vacation and that she was welcome to come along. I don’t know if she’s gonna be there or if I’m going to be spending my vacation alone.
Her: Hm…he told me the same thing. He was on some vacation and that he wouldn’t mind to see me then. I’m nervous, but I really want to meet him. That’s why I took up on the offer. But like I said, I don’t know if he’ll be that nice person that I’ve been talking to. And what if he doesn’t show up?
Him: Aww, I’m sure he’d show. I dunno about my girl though. I don’t understand what she likes in me anyway.
Her: Well, for one, you are cute.
Him(blushes): Aww, thanks.
Her: And there’s only one other person who I was able to talk to this freely, and I’m supposed to meet him in a few hours.
Him: So I’m easy to talk to?
Her: Very easy to talk to.
Him: Well…thanks for your kind words.
Her: You’re welcome. And thanks for making me feel better…Gage.
Him: How did you know my name?
Her: Going to Florida?
Him: B-b-but…
Her: Thanks for showing up.

Before she went to board the plane, she gave Gage a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you off the plane”, she says. He was left with a huge smile on his face, knowing that he won’t be spending his vacation alone.

Okay, so I’m going through that bout of writer’s block. And you know how some people say to “force yourself to write”?

Well, the more I force myself to attempt to write something, whether it be a story or a poem or something that has to do with tile flooring, the more I start to resent the art that I have a passion for. I’m all for being patient and waiting for something to come along. But when it comes to writing, I want it done now, and sometimes, realistically, it’s not possible.

So, here’s a note to myself: Don’t force it. Let go, let it flow. If I can’t do it now, I’ll do it later. If I can’t do it later, then I’ll poke someone else to help me. If all else fails…

I’ll draw a comic.

An older woman and her son, Shane, went to a car shop that sold Ferrari parts for a lot cheaper than they usually go for. She was retired, and had everything she wanted (and needed), but she wanted to get a new engine in fear that her 1-year-old existing one will die on her. After hours and hours of arguing with Shane who thinks that she’s just being paranoid, she got a new engine to replace her relatively new one.

Two hours passed and her car was ready and just in time too, since she was hungry. She got ready to start her car…

Only to find out that it wouldn’t start. “What the hell?!” She exclaimed. “What did you do to my car?!” She tried to start it again. It wouldn’t start. Now she’s really annoyed. She grabs Shane and shakes him. “What did they do to my car?!!”

“I don’t know, it was working before!”

“They’re gonna fix this right now before I call my lawyer!”

She gets on the phone and began to call her lawyer, until she heard her car start up. She gazed in amazement.

“What did you do, Shane?”

“You used the wrong key, Ma.”

She didn’t talk for the rest of the ride home.

Andrew’s wife always complained about how she was getting old. She wasn’t even getting gray hair, and she had a few wrinkles, but nothing unbearable. However, she always made it her point of existence to gripe about it any time she could. He couldn’t take it anymore and went searching for the best wrinkle creams that the internet can offer. He found one that claimed to “erase wrinkles and make her skin as smooth as a baby’s bottom”. “Just what she needs!” Andrew says to himself, and ordered it to give his wife for her birthday.

Her birthday came a few weeks later, and Andrew gave her his present. Unlike some women, she actually accepted the gift, and he wasn’t in the dog house for it. She wanted to try it out as soon as she opened it, and promptly did so. Everything seemed fine, and she went to bed that night. She was hoping that this will help her get her wrinkles away in a few weeks.

Andrew woke up the next morning with his wife staring broadswords at him. She had tears streaming down her now even more wrinkled, red, and flaming face. “It burns!!” She cried. Andrew looked at the ingredients of the cream.

“Warning: May contain black pepper.”

She’s allergic to black pepper.

“Who the hell puts black pepper in wrinkle cream?!”

As it turns out, the cream was recalled for having the “wrong ingredients” in it, black pepper being one of them. However, instead of taking it off the shelves and fixing the problem, they threw a warning tag on it instead. They got a lawyer and won $500,000 for damages and pain and suffering.

She never complained about her wrinkles again.