I hope I don’t get a lot of joint pain when I get older. As you know, my feet are not the best. They swell up at times, and they hurt like a mofo, especially on cold days. So on my worst days, I’m literally limping. It really sucks monkeys. I need to figure out a way to alleviate the pain on those days. Any suggestions would be nice. Other than cutting my feet off (which has crossed my mind a few times).

And that concludes my…why the hell is my clock on WordPress screwed up?

Never mind.

Tags: insomniac, rambling

I’m gonna say something. This will absolutely end my dead-horse ass whupping. I’m tired of seeing it around, and many are as well. So it must be said, dammit. Are you ready? I’m gonna do it. No one’s gonna stop me now. I renewed Crestfallen for another 2 years (2012–the year of doom). You’re stuck with me for at least that long. But I’m gonna say it. Here goes. The best weight loss pills are the ones that don’t come in pill form, but are the ones that come from determination. Agree? (Yes, corny as hell–cut me some slack!)
Tags: questions

I went to take a walk today. I took a wrong turn down a dark alley and I stepped in a puddle. But the puddle looked strange. It seemed to lead to somewhere. Being curious, I followed. I saw a woman up ahead. She had dark eye circles and her hair was all messy. Why was she there? I had to ask. Why was she crying? I had to ask.

But she didn’t answer. All she did was look down in her hands. Then she opened her mouth as to try and say something, but she couldn’t. So I asked her again. She faintly said something. I told her to speak louder. She muttered again. “I can’t help you if you won’t speak up”. She took a sigh and said it in the clearest voice she had.

“I broke a nail!!!“

Tags: impromptu shorty

One of my commercials would sound something like this.

Tired of looking in the mirror and finding a new pimple? Tired of looking in the mirror and finding two more pimples after you discover that new pimple? Does your face look like the side of the moon?

Introducing acnefree! The new innovation to getting rid of your unwanted acne! Here’s how it works. Put this product all over the affected area. Go to sleep. Umm…???…then profit! The acne will still be there, but it will give you hope that it will be gone when you wake up! Here’s how to order!

Note:This isn’t to say that this product doesn’t really work. But many don’t. That’s the point of the sarcastic remark.

Tags: sarcasm