Useless Story #14327B

I remember back in the day, after my sister moved out, I got her room with her old bed. It was old and the bed frames were starting to rust, but it was still functional. When I moved, it would squeak. It sounded like I was farting. Eventually, the mattress started to fall apart; as in the springs started popping out and scratching the hell out of me (because they would snap and leave sharp edges). It was definitely on its death bed, pardon the pun. The one thing that caused me to get a new bed was that bed bugs started to bite and left my arms and legs swollen and broken out in hives. It was pretty fricken nasty. But a bit ironic–don’t they tell us not to let the bed bugs bite?