Impromptu Shorty: The Day Jimmy Found Out His Grandma Knows None

September 05th, 2008 at 07:09 pm

Little Jimmy lived with his parents and his grandma. He was always curious, so anytime he wanted to know something, he never went to his parents. He went to his grandma because he believed that his grandma knows all since she’s older. Jimmy’s grandma was happy to answer the questions; this day, however, she decided that she was sick of everything–especially Jimmy’s curiosity.

Jimmy: Grandma, what is a pulse oximeter?
Grandma: It’s…something.
Jimmy: Oh, come on, you have to know what it is!
Grandma: Why? Because I’m old?
Jimmy: Well…yeah.
Grandma: I don’t know what that is.
Jimmy: Okay. Then what is an ice pick?
Grandma: Something I used on your grandpa.
Jimmy: What is “my grandpa”?
Grandma: Someone you’ll never meet unless you hold a seance.
Jimmy: What’s a seance?
Grandma: Oy, Jimmy! What do you want to do to me?!
Jimmy: I just want to know!
Grandma: Listen, I know nothing! I don’t know what a pulse…something or the other is, I really don’t know what an ice pick is for, and your grandpa can be swimming with the fishes by now, because he left me for another woman! Now leave me alone to my soaps!

Since that day, any time Jimmy needed to know something, he looked it up on Google. One day, his mother saw what he was doing, and cut it off because she saw some less-than-desirable sites on the history. Poor child.

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Hoi Thar.

Crestfallen is the 3.5-year-old site of a sarcastic 20-something natural-born New Yorker/California implant who goes by the name Nat Marie most days, but answers to many other things, including Shadow, Chickenhead, and "Hey Bitch!". She has a love for writing, performing arts, and cats (albeit allergic to them). You will find love, life, and a lot of writing and sarcasm sprinkled in. Enjoy.

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